H E R R A N D O M C R A P . B L O G S P O T . C O M ♥
Saturday, December 01, 2007 @ 6:58 AM
i wont say anything anymore here. since everything i said of how i currently feel now is taken as personal attacks. tsk.
uh huh. imma sucha self centred person. always think of oneself and never take in consideration of how you feel. thanks for bringing this up, given my current situation- making me feel lousier. im sorry for being sucha insensitive gf- always NOT there when you're feeling down and useless, aye? how bout initiative please? how bout telling me whats up- rather than waiting for me to ask- when you jolly well know how tight and sucky days i have to go through these past weeks? i apologize for all the emotional turmoils you have to face- due to my selfish-ness. feeling lousy is sucha sweeet feeling- especially when im in sucha vulnerable situation. and i personally thank you so much for that. (:
and if all of you really wanna know how's my current situation like. i've been doing quite badly. worse compared to yesterdy. tears have been flowing non stop, experiencing sleepless night. and i wonder why. still wallowing in self pity i guess- given how self centred i am. (:
i kept thinking why everything i've sacrificed so far, still doesnt give me the desired satisfaction i expected. after all the shit i've gone thru, i still dont see any rainbow after the rain. when i thought everything's gonna be allright and everyone's gonna change for the better, its soo fucking obvious that im sucha naive dumbass. why would they change anws, when there's always someone that'll be readily be there to clean their shit.
and just in case you dont know. the real price for the intercons shirt is 17 bucks. so think carefully who unofficially subsidise for the shirts. and dont forget that there're some who still havent pay me up yet. i know this is the third time im paying out of my expense for sth thats not worth it. more than 200 bucks are burnt just like that just bcos of intercons.
i dont need praises from you guys to acknowledge my contributions. i dont need a word of thanks from you for all the shit i've done for every single one of you. i dont need any pat on the back for all the sacrifices i've done, either financially or the forgo of my MST study week. but i definitely dont deserve any shoutings and vulgarities frm you just bcos im not aware that you're busier than me and i have to understand your current situation.
you're the vice chair of intercons, and im a lowly member of org comm. i knew better than to demand you to come to the basketball court and settle measy small matters like officials and lost equipments. i should have known better than to shout at you and making redundant dramas by crying and wailing loudly after you have to sacrifice your precious time of coming out of MMSP just to settle whatever's alrdy settled. i know i should and can easily settle everything myself like i always do, given the large amounts of energy level i had in me after going thru 2 events in the morning and aftrnoon. with all that, i truly apologize for whatever humilation i've caused ystrday. i should know better than interupt the vice chair of intercons in midst of some important event. with that, im dropping out of the intercons committee. you have the right to choose whether i deserve that four CCA points, given my petty situation yestrdy. and if i have to forfeit it, i dont mind cos i know i dont deserve it.
and all the fucked up shits i have to do for just 4 CCA points. damn. its sooo worth it. so worth my time.
something's gotta change, it must be rearranged. thats why i chose to step down from SB main comm. and please, dont think im soo happy that im at last free from everything's that bringing me down since the start of poly life. you dont know how much tears i have to shed everytime i thought of leaving everything that i've worked hard for. unfortunately, It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of a heavy world. im only a human. i dont have enough capabilities and emotional support to go thru all these again. im so sorry for all the inconvenience caused.
You promise me the sky
Then toss me like a stone
i still adore you.
and idk why.
Saturday, December 01, 2007 @ 6:58 AM
i wont say anything anymore here. since everything i said of how i currently feel now is taken as personal attacks. tsk.
uh huh. imma sucha self centred person. always think of oneself and never take in consideration of how you feel. thanks for bringing this up, given my current situation- making me feel lousier. im sorry for being sucha insensitive gf- always NOT there when you're feeling down and useless, aye? how bout initiative please? how bout telling me whats up- rather than waiting for me to ask- when you jolly well know how tight and sucky days i have to go through these past weeks? i apologize for all the emotional turmoils you have to face- due to my selfish-ness. feeling lousy is sucha sweeet feeling- especially when im in sucha vulnerable situation. and i personally thank you so much for that. (:
and if all of you really wanna know how's my current situation like. i've been doing quite badly. worse compared to yesterdy. tears have been flowing non stop, experiencing sleepless night. and i wonder why. still wallowing in self pity i guess- given how self centred i am. (:
i kept thinking why everything i've sacrificed so far, still doesnt give me the desired satisfaction i expected. after all the shit i've gone thru, i still dont see any rainbow after the rain. when i thought everything's gonna be allright and everyone's gonna change for the better, its soo fucking obvious that im sucha naive dumbass. why would they change anws, when there's always someone that'll be readily be there to clean their shit.
and just in case you dont know. the real price for the intercons shirt is 17 bucks. so think carefully who unofficially subsidise for the shirts. and dont forget that there're some who still havent pay me up yet. i know this is the third time im paying out of my expense for sth thats not worth it. more than 200 bucks are burnt just like that just bcos of intercons.
i dont need praises from you guys to acknowledge my contributions. i dont need a word of thanks from you for all the shit i've done for every single one of you. i dont need any pat on the back for all the sacrifices i've done, either financially or the forgo of my MST study week. but i definitely dont deserve any shoutings and vulgarities frm you just bcos im not aware that you're busier than me and i have to understand your current situation.
you're the vice chair of intercons, and im a lowly member of org comm. i knew better than to demand you to come to the basketball court and settle measy small matters like officials and lost equipments. i should have known better than to shout at you and making redundant dramas by crying and wailing loudly after you have to sacrifice your precious time of coming out of MMSP just to settle whatever's alrdy settled. i know i should and can easily settle everything myself like i always do, given the large amounts of energy level i had in me after going thru 2 events in the morning and aftrnoon. with all that, i truly apologize for whatever humilation i've caused ystrday. i should know better than interupt the vice chair of intercons in midst of some important event. with that, im dropping out of the intercons committee. you have the right to choose whether i deserve that four CCA points, given my petty situation yestrdy. and if i have to forfeit it, i dont mind cos i know i dont deserve it.
and all the fucked up shits i have to do for just 4 CCA points. damn. its sooo worth it. so worth my time.
something's gotta change, it must be rearranged. thats why i chose to step down from SB main comm. and please, dont think im soo happy that im at last free from everything's that bringing me down since the start of poly life. you dont know how much tears i have to shed everytime i thought of leaving everything that i've worked hard for. unfortunately, It's beyond me, I cannot carry the weight of a heavy world. im only a human. i dont have enough capabilities and emotional support to go thru all these again. im so sorry for all the inconvenience caused.
